He didn’t know why he did it. It was one of those things that you do only because you can; you know it is not the right thing to do but you succumb to temptation like a young lad giving in to the desire to know how it feels when the hand is put in fire. The outcome of both these analogical threads was and will always remain the same: it hurts but it quenches your curiosity in a way that leaves you with a lesson never to do it again.
[At the bar -10:30 pm] She sat there, right there in front of him wearing that enchanting smile that once formed his lifeline. For a moment he felt she owed that to him, but she credited someone else for it. He had learnt his lessons young: nobody owes you anything, nobody. Teenage heart-breaks are bad, ones that happen in your twenties, indescribably bad.
He dropped her with a good bye. She hadn’t put in much effort in dressing up. That generally gives away how much a lady cares for the occasion (or you). A man ought to pick these hints from the very beginning. She offered to pay. He laughed it off. He saw her leave while he had moved into a relapse of sorts. “I only wanted to see you once”, she had said. He gave her a fake smile. Every bit of it ripped him apart with the thought of how thankless and unrepenting she was.
[Coin flips] He saw her tied-up hair from the distance in that classroom. She was the prettiest girl in the room by a fair margin. Her voice had a tinge of innocence, something that gave away a pampered upbringing. That she would become one of the most important elements of his life, an object of boyish obsession in the coming days was far from known to him. He went to her and introduced himself. She told him her name was Eleana Wallace. He jokingly asked her if she was an Indian. He told her it reminded him of a Bollywood actress’ name too. She probably fell in love with his type of humour; she would laugh at them all. She smiled and offered him a seat next to hers. She was sweet, even then.
[Coin flips] (9:30 pm) He was 3 pegs down. He asked her if a dance would be a good idea. “I’m a bad dancer” “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you. I am trained. And it’s a simple form” “I’ve seen enough of these at weddings but I can’t”. He shrugged with a sign of disappointment clearly visible on his face. She didn’t want to re-kindle a spark that had been quashed after a lot of pain – one sided, but nevertheless. They asked for the cheque.
[Coin flips] He sat next to her with an uneasiness that shook him off his normal behaviour. She saw him nervously jotting down notes – Nerd alert! She often told him later that he needed to chill: Once when he told her he was preparing for an interview. She was cooler than him. She used to smoke and once told him about it as a test to find out if he had a problem with such things. She exclaimed with joy “You’re nicer than I thought” when he lied to her that it didn’t matter. “I’d miss you in Bangalore”, she’d say while he would knowingly smile. Although, he had lost his temper a couple of times later on, to which her reaction was obviously negative, but he’d always make up for it. She refused to talk to him once after a fight. He sent her a postcard saying he was sorry.
[Coin flips] (8 pm) They shook hands as strangers after which he offered her a chair. He wasn’t sure of what to say but the conversation went smooth nevertheless. Halfway through the conversation, she mentioned a boyfriend she had met in her company. He had heard of him from a common friend. He got to know later that this concerned person was responsible for ripping apart a relationship dearer to him than his life. He hadn’t met him, had never spoken to him. If he met him in the elevator some day and if they were forced to be together for a while, there would probably be silence, a pricking one. She was the common element they had–she, whom both had been obsessed with. His thoughts were interrupted by the waiter bringing the order.
[Coin flips] He messaged her that day from office. She chose to avoid. His life had been reduced to long waits hoping for the ticks to turn blue. She ruthlessly replied after a couple of days with words fewer than acceptable. He thought that she may have switched loyalties but he still chose to believe her, a girl he had met 2 months back. He messaged, “Long time. How have you been?” “I’m busy with work” she replied while the clench of a fist grew firmer on her hands and she smiled at that.
[Eight months later] He wished her good night on the phone and they had that customary kiddish fight over who would hang up first: “You do it, no you…” She was a college senior in Delhi he had met just a month back and the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. He eventually conceded her a win and was about to sleep when his mobile beeped: Eleana Wallace- Hey I’m in Mumbai. If you’re free, let’s meet over drinks. A series of flashbacks later, he replied in the affirmative.
He didn’t know why he did it. It was one of those things that you do only because you can; you know it is not the right thing to do but you succumb to temptation like a young lad…